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TIRED OF DATING
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Be Naughty - Guess what! Your Fantasies are all Here – tasty and REAL.

Dating Fatigue: Tired of Dating

 

The fact is, we all get tired of it - dating. I do and maybe you do too. Yes its true, we get tired of trying to meet people we like. We go through hell on earth to meet someone, elicit their details, spend ages and ages chatting, emailing, messaging, writing, phoning and then we go dating. And then we go dating again. And it comes to nothing. And ultimately dating fatigue sets in. We singles know this feeling and yet it is rarely discussed and even less written about. The fact is, being single is hard work and it wears us out.

 

I know that some of you reading this will have despaired from time to time, thinking that your perfect person is never to be found whilst also hoping secretly that they are hiding just round the corner. After a number of dates you wonder if it is worth it. Emotionally drained, high hopes, low results and you think, "it can't only be me", surely! Yes you are right, you are suffering from dating fatigue but it isn't only you. We all feel it.

 

Why? Well we make a mental list and then try and reduce it. A mental list of the things we want our partner to be, the qualities and attributes we would like them to have. Maybe this comes from having our fingers burned, maybe from downright experience. The fact is, we all have our list and we need that list. Mr. Right will just not be Mr. Right without us checking first. When we find that the people we date don't really match up to our mental perception of what we want after beginning so optimistic, we feel drained of it. We need to recharge our batteries before rejoining the dating battle.

 

And this cycle continues, time and time again. There are a few yes, who are very lucky indeed and they will probably not be reading this, but for most of us we need to take a methodical approach. We are on a life campaign to find someone to love, so expect to get tired, expect to feel let down occasionally and pace yourself. Don't go on 20 dates a week thinking Mr. Perfect is waiting in the next singles bar. He may be, but he probably won't be. Instead, concentrate on quality rather than quantity.

 

To avoid dating fatigue decide on what we want, who we want and when we want - it. Do you build yourself up in anticipation before each date and lead yourself into an emotional crisis, or do you keep a cool clear head and wait to be pleasantly surprised? Do you have just one or two high quality dates a month with true potential partners or do you go out with every available person you meet. I suspect the latter will certainly bring on dating fatigue. But oddly, so will the former. You see, high quality dates are as draining and possibly a bigger let down than anything. To be faced with true potential and then to watch it fade away over a Merlot is soul destroying and many of us have felt that. The fact is , there is no easy answer concerning dating regularity. They will both wear you down.

 

The single factor that crops up more than anything in giving us dating fatigue lays deep within communication issues. By that, I mean lying. People tell lies, they tell us what we want to hear, they pretend to be something they aren't and they avoid the truth about things they shouldn't. Not everyone does that, but a great many do. Its because many people don't feel happy about themselves, they want to be something larger than life, they want to impress and in doing so, they exclude themselves from dating success. We realize we are not being told the truth, we acknowledge the original potential but its too late. The date is over.

 

A friend of mine told me recently that there was no point in dating me because in truth I wasn't their ideal and they were now solely focusing on finding that perfect partner. I admire them for their honesty and their focused dating regime. It kind of lacks romance but I respect dedication to the cause.

 

I think that the way we all should deal with dating fatigue is simple: take some time off, like holiday if you like. Go do something completely different, begin a new sport or hobby and enjoy the important simple pleasures in life and stop thinking about Mr. Right. And in doing so - well you may be pleasantly surprised who you meet. Oh and your batteries will be recharged too.

The Class Factor - Meeting People with Class When Dating

 

When dating, there are certain people I have encountered who always stand out. It is not those who were the most visually stunning or those who were the most flash, it was simply those few people who exuded class. Men can have class, women can have class. But what do I mean? Well, by class I mean a level of sophistication, education, intelligence and breeding that makes them stand out from the crowd. Now get this straight. Class has nothing (zero) to do with wealth. Its has everything to do with knowing how to act and how to have a level of style and sophistication that most people are too lazy to carry off.

If as a woman, someone held the door open for me, got my chair, and knew about wines and food and could converse well on a  wide range of subjects I would be impressed and see them as having class. You may not have two cents to rub together but if you are thoughtful and intelligent, caring and well read, you may have class. Class has nothing to do with what you wear although your class will show through the way you wear your clothes. I will give you an example: In Bali a male friend on walking up to a temple, immediately pulled out a well crafted silk sarong. He had read the need to keep covered in Indonesian temple and his research and preparation shoed his class in this situation.

An angry man shouting at a waiter on a date shows no class at all and should be avoided. It may be the style of people of some great cities to be bullish and aggressive and rude, particularly in restaurants but this kind of behavior shows no class at all and speaks volumes about they lack of knowledge of how to treat fellow humans. A person with class will not be rude but will be gracious and polite. A person with true class will know when it is necessary to make a point and can be firm without ever raising their voice. I know so many girls who have been outraged by their date making a complete display of himself by having to be rude and arrogant to a waiter to demonstrate their power. It is sad, it is fruitless and such men will deserve to remain single.

The problem with modern generations is that we have seen a dumbing down of society and as this has happened so stupidity is applauded and intelligence ignored. Whilst James Bond may still be a screen idol, his level of sophistication is seen in very few. It is almost as if class is only available to the wealthy few. This is not true. Women with class tend to be subtle and understated as do men. Women will tend not to be ostentatious though they will be educated and informed with specific tastes in anything and everything. You can test out people by simply asking their opinions on things. Ask them what is their favorite Picasso composition, ask them what they think of this years authors or even current events. Class will show through in informed reasoning and sparkling conversation. With class comes wit and observation.

People with class know how to treat you well but more importantly know how to make you the center of attention whilst you are together. An old friend used to spend hours in a restaurant whilst her date eyed up every woman who entered the building. She put up with it for a time but the man had no class. Yes I have had some dates where the gaze remains focused on me, where I am listened to intently, reasoned with, debated with and made to feel special and fascinating. That is a date with class.

So where do you find people who have class? Does it mean hanging around academic and literary circles or art galleries? Not at all. First of all let us be clear. Your type of date may simply not be this kind of person at all. If getting recklessly drunk in your local bar with the girl of your dreams is your thing then that is perfect. If you simply like sharing Dunkin' donuts and coffee, that is perfect too. You will find a person with class by sticking to those who will treat you well. When dating make sure you look to find someone who matches you in intelligence and interests. Date people who know how to treat you well and ensure you are made to feel special. Date people who behave impeccably and make you feel like you are walking on air.

No one has to put up with second best in their lives so wanting to meet someone with class is not out of the question. Simply make a list of the qualities that you would like in someone and then ensure that you primarily date those who are able to fulfill those promises.

If someone has class, you want to be with them. You feel good to be with them and you feel good about yourself. You feel like your world has opened up and that there are millions of new possibilities. You feel you can learn form them and they can learn from you.

Here is a list of things that I found in my special dates who did have class that you may want to look for to.

  • They are intelligent and witty
  • They listen and are very interested
  • They are quietly confident about their own abilities
  • They are well dressed but understated
  • They are well-travelled or had studied hard
  • They are conscientious and polite
  • They are well-read and have wide interests
  • They know who they are and have ambitions
  • They are never rude or arrogant
  • They ensure you are the focus of attention
  • They ensure you always feel comfortable
  • They are always considerate
  • They are relaxed and extremely easy to chat with
  • They make you feel good just to be with them
  • They are a person of the people
  • They never discuss their money and belongings
  • They are never loud and ostentatious

If you get some of the following when you are with a date then you may have found someone who does have class. Remember, class has nothing to do with riches and wealth and is really about manners and breeding and how people treat others, including you.

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