First Vacation Tips With a New Partner

Going on your first vacation together will be one of the most stressful things you ever do. It is akin to death, moving house and childbirth. Expectations are high, you are both having sudden doubts as to the validity of this decisions and once you get wherever you are going, there will only be the two of you to focus on. Very quickly it will turn into the perfect vacation, or the vacation from hell and it is down to both of you as to which way it can go. Being isolated together in a foreign situation polarizes thought and beliefs and behavior. It can illuminate the smallest worrying traits in you and your partner and it will put under the microscope every fine detail of your planning skills. Once you have checked into your villa or room you will soon find out what you both truly like doing and how you both behave as a couple.

You may be thinking that you are in for a fortnight of sex in the surf with fine wines and relaxation only to discover your partner gets travel sick, has an obsession with tanning, hates sightseeing and can't hold their drink. On the other hand your partner may be the perfect companion and love and romance blossoms stronger than ever.

Many are the relationships that have foundered on the rocks of a first vacation together so some planning is involved, some adjustment, tons of compromise and a fantastic sense of humor to get through it. If you both come out of it successfully you may end up being a couple for life. If you fail, then better now than after the church ceremony.

Lower your vacation stress levels with the following tips:

• Your first vacation together may be better as an extended weekend in another city and a fortnight in the sun
• Make sure that selecting the first vacation is a joint exercise that is shared and is fun
• Don't rush into having a first vacation together. Timing is essential as vacation time is limited
• Make sure your expectations are realistic in advance of the vacation. If you are expecting heaven in the surf, you could be opening yourself up to disappointment
• Ensure you have a high tolerance threshold and are open to many suggestions
• Be relaxed but prepared when making vacation arrangements
• Ensure the destination is one you are both more than comfortable with. A one-sided vacation plan will remain so
• Do NOT go on vacation too soon after meeting. You need to have become used to the person you are travelling with. This is essential if you are not to have a roving eye round the pool
• Do communicate in vast amounts before departing to ensure you are both on the same wavelength about what this vacation is all about
• Do retain your romantic outlook from the moment you depart to the moment you arrive back. Just because you are on vacation does not mean you switch off
• Do ensure you are personally well packed and prepared prior to the trip and do not rely on your partner making all the arrangements
• Ensure the room you have booked has a double bed and not twin beds
• Ensure you know something about your destination before setting up. Forearmed is forewarned. Surprising your partner is as necessary on vacation as at home.
• Ensure that you know about any doubts or worries you partner has prior to the vacation and ensure they are reassured throughout
• On vacation do show each other special attention throughout. The rest of the world doesn't matter whilst you relax together
• A vacation should NOT spring unpleasant surprises so make sure you partner knows any dark secrets well in advance. If you are allergic to sunlight , make sure that is known in advance
• If you can't swim or ski start learning now and assist your partner if you can
• Be careful about too much alcohol on vacation. It can lead to many arguments
• Flirting on holiday is a complete no go area. Don't even think about it
• Do join water sports or classes together. Teach your date to ski if you are better than them, and make things a partnership
• Do recognize that just because this is your first vacation together does not mean you live in each other's pockets 24 hours a day. Give each other some space when you sense it
• Communicate, communicate, communicate
• Select restaurants that are romantic and that are suited to both tastes. If necessary, compromise
• Lose every selfish bone in your body
• You are not joined at the hip so be prepared for some individual expression
• Jealousy and possessiveness will not help your vacation so be open-minded and humorous
• Be relaxed and entertaining and forget about home-life for a while
• Don't go clubbing when your partner is tired. Spend relaxing times together and be considerate
• Whatever happens you will display some hidden traits and so will they, take it all as part of the vacation experience. Things are not the same on vacation as at home
• Make sure that you do only the things you can both afford and don't put your partner at financial risk by provoking them to spend more than they can afford
• Pay for your first vacation separately out of your own funds if it feels right
• Remember why you are going on vacation together in the first place. To spend time with each other in an ideal location to have fun together
• Do not criticize how much your female partner has brought with her by way of clothes and shoes. I she needs 28 sun dresses and 15 pairs of shoes that is entirely fine
• Your first vacation together is not a honeymoon
• Finally, it is your responsibility as much as theirs to ensure you have so much fun it is the perfect holiday so never ever start blaming him/her for things out-with your control
• Do not use a vacation situation to get too intense. Lay back and enjoy the sun

Our Worst Dates

I thought it may be worth taking a short survey of the worst dating experiences in the Top Dating Tips office. It is a jungle out there and along the dating path we have encountered some peculiar situations. Whilst one or two could put us off dating for life, others are simply bizarre. There are few of us who don't have some strange dating story to tell who are over 25 and some of them can act as lessons too. Whilst I wouldn't like anyone else to go through these worst dating experiences, its clear that its is part of what happens when we try and spend time with complete strangers.

The worst dates in general seemed to be when dates failed to turn up completely, made disgraceful excuses, were caught out the same night with a different man or woman, or simply lied. One guy met up with a girl who stripped naked in his favourite restaurant to show the waiters her dragon tattoo, another was punched out cold by a father who didn't like his hair!

My worst dating experience was taking an arranged flight from Toronto via Pittsburgh to visit a girl who had just spent three months phoning me asking me to visit her in New York. On landing she phoned to say that she had booked me into the Grand Hyatt on 42nd Street and would call me when I got there. Once I had checked in she called me to say that she couldn't make it to meet this weekend and perhaps I could visit again next weekend instead! $1000 dollars later I had a weekend on my own in New York visiting the tourist attractions and shopping. Needless to say we never met up again.

Here are a few examples of bad times in no particular order.

On the Rack

One of the guys had been dating a quiet girl for a few weeks when she asked him back to her apartment. She was a shy girl but he was an honourable gent so he tells us, so he said yes. When he got to her apartment they settled in for a drink on the comfy sofa before moving to the bedroom. As things got heated she insisted on tying his hands to the bedpost with silk scarves and has he was game for a laugh he agreed. Before you could say anything she pulled out a portable rack (yes the mediaeval type) and said he could so with some stretching (!! editor). In wild panic he managed to loosen his restraint and ran screaming from the apartment semi clad with her chasing after him but managing to escape. He has been quite quiet on the dating front since then.

The Bad Photo

Our office marketing guy had decided to try some internet dating so joined one of the top professional sites and posted a comprehensive profile and a photo. Then waited. In fact he waited for about a year and got zero responses from any of the many women online. He started to chat with the girls and got nowhere fast either. After 18 months he had no idea what to suggest. The girls matched his profile exactly, they had the same backgrounds  and the few who spoke to him said that he was a lovely guy but never took it further. Eventually he performed a test. He simply replaced his photo with one of a male model. Within 2 days he had received 132 email replies, 17 unprompted conversations and 5 offers of a date. The moral of this disheartening story is don't believe that all women put personality before looks, sadly.

The Wrong Vehicle

One of the guys here was standing in a bar having a drink when two gorgeous girls approached him and one admitted that she thought he was lovely. They got chatting and were getting on really well when one of the two asked what car he drove. He had been driving the same car for years and admitted it was old. The girl said that that wouldn't do at all as she only dated men who drove BMWs  - and left. He is still single and driving an old car. The moral of this story is get your wheels sorted out guys.

The Preacher's Daughter

One of the guys in the office was dating a girl when at college. They had been sleeping together for sometime and the relationship had progressed but he had yet to be introduced to her father. Her father was in fact a preacher and minister and devoutly religious. One Saturday morning the preacher took it upon himself to visit his only daughter by driving the 100 miles to her apartment. Our hero and his girlfriend were in bed when the knock on the door came so quick as a flash he jumped naked into a wardrobe and  hid.

The father entered the room and was welcomed by his daughter who took it upon herself to chat with him about her studies for the next 4 hours in which time they ate both breakfast and lunch. Our hero meanwhile is no more than a few feet away, naked and cramped in the darkened wardrobe, having now lost all feeling to his body and freezing cold and dehydrated. Just as the father was leaving our friend fell from the closet and landed naked at the feet of the preacher with daughter looking on. The result was that within three weeks the daughter was removed from the college and the relationship was over.

The Car Door