SUCCESSFUL DATING

SUCCESSFUL DATING

Key Tips To Successful Dating

What is a successful date? Does it mean it leads on to relationship and romance? Well you that would be cool. But it doesn't have to mean that. A successful date can be one where you got on very well, had a great time and things ended on excellent terms. Not every date we go on will end this way, but they should if we plan our dating a little more carefully.

My main concern is that we often just accept dates from the next person who shows and interest and we hope that we get on okay. The problem here is that we are being passive in our dating game. We are receivers without a game plan. Our dating is bound to be far more successful if we are the ones going out and choosing who we would like to date from a selection of those who are compatible.

To do this successfully you first have to have an idea of who you are most likely to get on with and be truthful when you do it. If you insist on dating everyone, 50% of the people you meet won't be compatible straight away. In which case you will have half of all your dates as a complete waste of time. Stop doing that and start analyzing what kind of people you get on with. Okay I could say the following@

I like people who are aged 29 to 36, single and never previously married, no children but would like a child sometime. Should be Christian to an extent, well educated, reasonably tall and have long blonde hair. They should be receptive to the idea of marriage like winter sports and live within 100 miles of my home.

Okay if I do this then I can be accused of many things here but this is just an example. The effect though is to set some criteria by which I can date and from which I am likely to see some successful dating. If I don't make a dating profile then its open to all comers. That's okay. Maybe you simply don't care and want to meet anyone you can., In which case spread your net widely. The problem is though that you are not going to please everyone and once again 50% of your dates will be a complete waste of time.

Recognize that none of us are compatible with everyone. Reclines your minimum dating requirements and then ensure you match the requirements you set. There is absolutely no point in setting the following if you don't match yourself.

I am looking to meet a guy who is 6 feet 2" or taller, must be athletic and a professional sportsman with an income of over $200k a year. They must be extremely attractive, own their own house and sports car and be able to surf.

If you are five feet 1", out of shape and maybe overweight with no career and a low income and cannot swim then what you have done is just describe your ideal fantasy figure not your probable dating criteria. I am not for one second saying you won't be attractive to the character you have described but to date successfully you must establish ground where you are most likely to be compatible and will easily match.

The next thing to consider when looking at successful dating are your expectations. If you are expecting instant love at first sight followed by a perfect romance and children then that's great. The issue here is that it may not happen that way. I wish it would but it doesn't. So being realistic and expecting little is often the best way to date. If you do then one of these days you are in for a nice surprise. Greet every date with optimism but don't go over the top. If you make a new friend then you have done well. Don't expect Cupid at every turn. It will happen but maybe not just yet.

Successful dates are simple dates. They are casual and fun. Believe me when I say that desperation comes across as though you have a placard over your head announcing it. Never ever be desperate to date. If you are then this is the time to take a breather ironically. How many times has someone said that you meet a person when you least expect it. Its true, that's why. So successful dating is when its part of your monthly routine but not the be all and end all.

Successful dates are when you are at your most casual and most upbeat and most relaxed. Successful dates happen when you are focused but in a good mood. Put the rest of your house on order and your dates will naturally take on a new glow because you will be far more positive and organized.

To summarize:

Successful dating involves setting realistic match criteria
Successful dating involves establishing dating boundaries
Successful dating means being prepared and upbeat
Successful dating means keeping things simple and fun
Successful dating means dating the right people for you
Successful dating means being realistic about your expectations
Successful dating means being patient

Dating is A Challenge and We Love Challenging Dates

For some people, dating is a challenge. It is a conquest, a crusade and a sport. As you are neither a competitor or a prize, don't allow yourself to be come a victim to such players. Dating is an affair of the heart and should be treated as such. It is fun to date but it is also serious business. However, when we date, it is true that we do like a challenge, we like to get the guy, we like to get the gal. It makes us feel good about ourselves to date someone nice and so it would be unfair not to talk about challenge in dating.

We often like to go for someone just out of reach, that is a challenge. As humans with ambition, we like to reach and strive upwards. Therefore, dating someone we view as slightly out of our league (for a million reasons) is all the more attractive. This could be someone wealthy, or in a good job, or someone who is simply not usually our 'type'.

It is interesting how we are able to adapt ourselves to this level of interest in people we may not usually consider, when we are dating. Generally we will stick to people in our own social strata as we are more comfortable here and we will date those people who we generally have done in the past. After all, it is where we feel subconsciously that we belong.

Yet every now and again a challenge presents itself. You see a guy who you really fancy, someone you could really go for but someone who may not normally go for a girl (or guy) like you. As a guy you see a girl who would not take a second glance at you. The challenge is set. Challenges are healthy because they take us out of our comfort zone and allow us to grow as human beings. They also give us confidence, especially when we succeed in our challenge.

Who doesn't want to date a supermodel or a male superstar? Its a natural part of fantasy to strive for what we perceive as perfection. Reality may be different but it doesn't prevent us from taking on challenges occasionally. However it is fair to say, that in reality we won't date the superstars and even if we did, we would probably not enjoy it half so much anyway.

When I was younger I had always wanted to date a rich girl and I was lucky to meet a great girl called Nicola who had very wealthy parents. It was not that I was very poor but I was attracted to and interested in her lifestyle and everything about her lifestyle. Not for possessions, but just because her ways of doing things were different to my own.

The first weekend I was invited to her parents house in London and soon discovered that her world was out of my league. We went to a party and I was expected to cover the cost of champagne. Even the smallest things were way out of my price range and soon I discovered that however much I liked this girl I really didn't fit in and couldn't afford her world unfortunately. There were her ways of doing things that I knew nothing about. Forms of behavior and social etiquette that I was new to and I found every function stressful. In the end we parted amicably and I wished her the best. The point of the story being that to date a girl like her was challenge, but once I got there, she was a date too difficult to sustain.

For girls the challenge is in dating a cool, good-looking bad-boy. He could be the ski instructor or the life guard or the surf instructor. No woman has managed to capture this man's heart so she thinks she is the one to do it. He is enigmatic, he is trouble with a capital T, and he is oh so Mr. Popular. All the girls love him because he is a maverick. So why do the girls love him, because he doesn't care, because he is full of confidence, because he doesn't need a woman. This raises the interests levels of certain women. They rise to the challenge and aim to be the one who will tame him.

Why is it that you are ALWAYS more popular when you have a partner? It is of course because you are attractive by design. You have a partner therefore the people around you see you as being more attractive and successful in relationships. After all, if they have you and you respect them ,then there must be something about you after all. The challenge is set, they want you also, because they want to challenge themselves to see if they can get you. They may not want you but they certainly want to know that they could have had you! Its a real irony, but you are at your most desirable when attached and at your most wanted. The moment you are single, people want to know why.

Insecurity in some promotes challenge. By having conquests and sleeping with many partners one gets a false sense of attractiveness, self confidence and being wanted. The fact is, its just sex, nothing more. When a guy is young her will challenge himself to get certain girls into bed. He will aim to seek confidence and self understanding through self-set conquests. It is mainly a sign of immaturity, but it affects people of all adult ages.

Challenges in dating will always be with us, they are a natural part of our psyche in us wanting to obtain something and someone we feel is out of our reach. When dating make sure that you are not someone else's challenge and be a little cautious. If you yourself are seeking a dating challenge then at least have the respect to date the person properly once they finally say yes to your charms.

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