Confidence in Dating: Why You Should Become More Confident
once read the results of a survey in a leading woman's magazine that said the number
1 most attractive quality in a man was confidence. Not arrogance, confidence. It took some time to sink in as to what this
really meant. Did it mean grabbing the girl in matinee idol pose and whisking her backwards whilst I kissed those luscious
lips of hers? Did it mean turning into a caveman never taking no for an answer? Did it mean turning up at the door of the
girl next door and whisking her off to Paris for the weekend, though we had hardly spoken? What did they mean
by confidence? The quest was on it find out.
Every woman I have asked will answer in a different vein so the answer isn't all things
to all men. Confidence, it appears, is in the eye of the beholder. Even worse, confidence can easily be misconstrued so one
has to tread carefully. The point is not confidence itself, but its easier to define by its opposite, fear. Fear in men is
not attractive. Fear defines a man as not knowing his own value, lacking a feeling of self worth, not being sure of his abilities,
lacking in presence and determination. This I may add is very different from justifiable fear that we all face.
Okay, back to confidence. Men are attractive when they are confident said one friend.
Another told me, "ooh a confident man makes me go weak at the knees". So I pressed them further. A confident man it seems
is one who carries with him a self-assuredness that is most definitely not arrogance. It is a state where a man feels sure
of himself and his abilities, knows what he is about, knows himself for what he can do,, what he may be able to do, what he
may fail at but does not fear to try. A confident man is in control of his destiny, his future, his career, his day. And to
many women that is very attractive.
After all, a woman is looking for a partner, one who will not only match with her
mentally and physically, but someone who can drive her onwards, someone who has ambition and vitality, someone who can pass
hi self assuredness on to her. A man who is confident is sexy because he is comfortable with himself, he is in control and
he is able to make decisions, good decisions. He is confident in the choices he makes and in choosing you (maybe really you
selected him), he passes this feeling of being special on to you. Being selected by the right man can be very sexy indeed.
If you are going to date the beauty in the corner and father her children then running
away is not a good start, neither is feeling bad about yourself and failing to be able to hold a decent conversation. Far
too many men decide in advance of an approach if they are worth of a woman's attentions or not. All too often they believe
they are not. Except where alcohol is involved. Men in bars exude confidence, but they also exude beer breath as well! No
the fact is that guys who lack confidence prejudge most situations and inevitably take themselves out of the dating fray before
it ever happens, hoping, strangely, that the woman will make the first move.
The fact is, the confident men more often than not get the girl, because the confident
man has something about him. I know plenty of good looking handsome men who are afraid to approach women so its not necessarily
about looks. No, its about something within. Confidence is about self respect and self understanding. It comes from understanding
what you yourself are about and when this happens a sexy man reaches out. Often lack of confidence in men is because of physique
and yet it is an issue so easy to fix. 12 weeks in a gym will change a man's life. A fit man is a confident man. Dress is
also something that instills confidence. No man has an excuse for not dressing reasonably smart these days as fashion for
men is everywhere.
Ultimately we all lose confidence from time to time. People can take our confidence
away at work or at home, in partnerships and on our own. Ultimately though these are passing phases. If a man can do
one thing for himself in the dating game, that is to learn about his own confidence levels in an honest way and then go about
doing something to increase them. Feel good about yourself guys and someone will feel good about you.
